I did not anticipate that dating could get so emotionally wrecking. Or maybe it is that I am easily broken. I'm growing really really weary of all of this. After the abrupt break off with Reddy, I deleted my account for my own sake. This I did after drawing to the conclusion that I am inept to date the modern way. People move briskly from one person to the next without so much as a thought and this is all too fast for me. It is not like I'm asking for any promises of the future but some stability maybe? Most men do want to remain friends however. I can't see how that can work. Everyone wants to be on everyone else's loop. Like I should be allowed to text you on the nights I am lonely. Or at least have the option of doing so. Is it just me or is this really fucked up? We all want intimacy but cannot bring ourselves to commit to anything.

Suddenly dying alone seems like a better alternative. At least I'll have my peace.