Monday, June 5, 2017

 The weight of adulthood is upon everyone. Most of my friends get bogged down by it on a daily basis. I do too. I don't suffer in the same way because I have pulled myself out of the work rut and general comfort of material life. 
This fear of not doing enough, not being enough comes in inheritance. My father may not say it in so many words but I sense he sees himself as incomplete no matter where he stands. The disappointment trickles down to the both of us kids.  My parents seem to have given themselves up to a certain boredom where the mundane, everyday activities are the only way they can view time in motion.  In this lull of the mundane, all of us are not nearly enough. We shake things up a bit every now and then to make sure we are not machines yet but get back to the drone because we are so used to it. I have an aversion to this system, but also know that if I were not subject to this system I would have found aversion to some other system instead.