In that brief moment between hearing something and letting your brain perceive it, the universe explains to you the virtue of listening.

— Caesar (@ShiftedSands) March 31, 2014

Ms. Fix It

Every time life would blow at her, she rustled like leaves on a tree, swaying madly in love.

When it would blow too hard, a stem would snap and fall. And she would snap out of love

And fall.

Ms. Fix It was a hopeless romantic

But that was before she became Ms. Fix It.

Everything in moderation, including reality.

http://www.katywiedemann.com/Illustrations.html#

God Bless America

Panting, "Have you gotten better at this?"

"Maybe I seem more attractive to you now that we aren't together."

"That's such a mean thing to say."

_____________________________________________________________

"Kissing is too intimate."

"The other stuff we're doing isn't?"

Laughs, "No!"

Then goes on to make me come twice, using just his fingers.

"GOD BLESS AMERICA!"

"Despite what you’ve read, your sadness is not beautiful. No one will see you in the bookstore, curled up with your Bukowski, and want to save you. 

Stop waiting for a salvation that will not come from the grey-eyed boy looking for an annotated copy of 

Shakespeare, for an end to your sadness in Keats.


He coughed up his lungs at 25, and flowery words cannot conceal a life barely lived. 


Your life is fragile, just beginning, teetering on the violent edge of the world. 


Your sadness will bury you alive, and you are the only one who can shovel your way out with hardened 
hands and ragged fingernails, bleeding your despair into the unforgiving earth.

Darling, you see, no heroes are coming for you. Grab your sword, and don your own armor."

My friend came across this in a New York subway.

"You're living for nothing now. I hope you're keeping some kind of record."

I find it very unnerving when I set out to say something and suddenly conversations take ugly turns. I feel the control in my voice wavering and in this case frantic Whatsapp typos. My stomach begins to churn. I’ve always been very afraid to push the boundaries when it comes to interacting with people. I don’t like to feel vulnerable. I’m pretty sure nobody does. (I also don’t like to rant, which I’m doing now)

Sometimes I don’t communicate with people because I anticipate a certain kind of response from them. I have these probable conversations running in my head that suffice. I think I've been afraid because it is quite a task to understand someone completely.

But of late, I've become brave. I’m doing and saying things I didn't expect myself to. I’m not being afraid of what I feel about certain people and I’m not being afraid to say it. I’m failing and falling. I’m learning to not be afraid of falling. I’m beginning to take action. I’m trying to understand loneliness. I’m forgiving myself for writing too many words to express myself. I’m not being afraid of writing. I’m not being afraid of writing shit. This will diminish the idea of self I have in my head because I've always expected myself to be a certain kind of woman. I’m learning that I can live up to my ideal by just taking action every day and by taking responsibility for my action.

I’ll handle it. 

For Your Free And Easy Love

Close your eyes and open your mouth.

Your hands will briskly find somethings to gauge.

Some other things you'll have to do without

But that's the collateral damage.