Hum mann ke dariya mein doobe. Kaisi nayya, kya manjhdhaar.

I decide to spend some time in her head. It's not easy. I need Ali's voice right now to cloud my mind just as she needs another refill of rum to cloud hers.

I look down and inside. She is contained; deep but impenetrable. A dam. Thoughts begin to pelt on her like the rain and they've all jumped in. The ghosts have. The ghosts have met. She wonders what they have to say to each other about her. She can barely hear them inside her. Crawling out now, drenched, they carry small parts of her to feast on. It's pouring again. She pours more alcohol until her bosom swells with pain and she can't take it anymore. 
Chhad duniya de janjaal, kuchh bhi ni labhna bandeya de naal. Alif tells me. I tell her. Or the dam will break.
We are drowning in our own selves. There are no boats, no storms. Only truth.